Sunday, January 18, 2009

Love Story: Is it possible?

We have all seen the movies where a girl looks at a guy (or vice versa) and suddenly, the music starts playing, and they both look at each other with a sudden realization: they both know, just know, that that person is their "forever and always." They fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. And then the end credits roll around and we're jolted back to reality, where, in the real world, it doesn't happen like that.

I have had several people ask me, "Why don't you date?" and I never really had an answer, (except for the fact that my parents would have my head on a platter) until just the other day I realized that I'm glad I don't date. Do you want to know why?

I see so many girls, (my friends included) date real jerks. They watch Cinderella, and see Prince Charming, and then think, "That's not how it is in the real world. " and are jolted back to reality. They settle for less than they deserve. They have these high expectations, and yet they don't expect anyone to meet them. So they settle for the scum of the earth (Just kidding!) and go through a lot of emotional, spiritual, and physical junk, that they could've avoided if they had just stuck to their ideals. It really does break my heart, because I don't believe God intended it to be that way.

So I'll put it this way: I'm waiting for my Prince Charming. I may or may not know him already, but I have decided to commit to this. Two things that really motivated me to do this is several examples they showed us in my youth group.

One thing you do is take two separate pieces of paper, and glue them together. After the glue had dried, you rip the pieces of paper apart, separating them from each other. After doing this, the paper is hardly perfect. It is torn, has holes in it, and has pieces of the other paper stuck to it. This is what happens to your heart, when you give it away freely. You don't get the whole thing back.

Another this you can do, is take another piece of paper, and cut of a quarter-sized piece for everything that owns, or has owned your heart. (Guys, sports...the list goes on and on--family and friends don't count) What are you left with?

I know those above examples are pretty depressing, but the good news is, you can give your broken, and battered heart back to God. He will mend it...its what He does best.

And next time, try not to give your heart away to something that may not last.
Girls, wait for your Knight in Shining Armor. But until then, stick with Jesus. He'll take your heart, but he won't break it, (and he is the only guy that I can promise you won't do that) he'll mold into something beautiful.

Friday, January 16, 2009


Am I the only one who is glad that it's the end of the week? Man, it has been a long one, for me at least. Mid-term studying panic, school, school, school, and more school. Did I forget to mention that I'm tired?
I am tired both spiritually and physically. Its hard to explain, but I sort of feel like God is hitting me, (or flooring me) with tons of stuff at once. Which has been cool in a way, because I am seeing His hand in a lot of stuff, but at the same time, I feel like yelling, "Okay, stop! Enough for now! Its all I can handle!" which I know is a complete contradiction of Scripture, but, hey, its how I feel. I was reading a devotional book the other day, and in it was a conversation that went something like this:
"Urgh! I can't take all of this junk!"
"Maybe God wants you on your knees."
"I've been there for the past two weeks."
"Maybe He doesn't want you to get up yet."

Ouch. I think I needed that.
And then yesturday, I was talking to my friend Ileana, and she was telling me how her friend said to her, "Honestly, we don't have any right to expect big things from God if we don't pray big."
Double ouch.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

An untitled poem of mine...

Here is a poem I wrote last summer...I was going through a rough time...and this is basically how I felt at that time.

Running around in the imprints of my DNA,
Following Your evaporating traces,
Swimming in circles of multi-color;
You are hidden in plain sight.
I can feel You on my fingertips,
But as I reach for Your glory,
My grasp weakens and my strength fails,
And I fall down into myself, fading slowly.
Only You can save me now,
Because my weakness is overpowering,
And I am slowly suffocating, gasping for air.